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 Way to BURN your CALORIES
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Posted on 05-19-05 11:39 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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How many calories do we burn during sex
The diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing, but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable.

Yet, a survey of 206,000,000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and we felt that the time was right for a new type of sex manual.

EXAMPLES:

1 hr. intensive foreplay Burns Off:
1 slice (large) chocolate cake.

25 min. nonstop lovemaking Burns Off:
2 slices of pizza with cheese & mushrooms.

53 min. of kissing partner Burns Off:
1 cheeseburger with 14 french fries.

53 minutes kissing yourself Burns Off: Christmas turkey with all the trimmings.

PREPARING THE BEDROOM

Includes setting the snooze alarm and dimming the lights: 42 (calories burned)

ADDITIONAL LAST MINUTE PREPARATIONS
Hiding the sex manual: 3

Decanting the wine: 4

Without a corkscrew: 268

MAKING THE FIRST MOVE

If you are shy: 15

If you are anxious: 43

If you beg: 100

SEDUCING THE PARTNER

If you are rich (cash): 5

If you are rich (credit card): 15

If you are poor: 200

INITIAL BODY CONTACT

Fumbling: 4

Casually rummaging around: 7

Seriously rummaging around: 42

REMOVING CLOTHES

With partner's consent: 12

Without partner's consent: 187

Removing socks by violently shaking feet: 418

AROUSAL AND STIMULATION

Blowing in partner's ear: 15

Blowing in your own ear: 2,512

DISAPPOINTMENT (after seeing partner undressed

Partner looks better with clothes on: 10

Partner wears corrective underwear: 15

Partner turns out to be of wrong sex: 100

You don't mind: 0.25

Partner wearing elevated socks: 50

DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME

Fumbling around: 4

Desperately trying to put something somewhere: 18

Completely missing: 126

POSITIONS

Italian (man on top; woman on bottom): 26

German (facing each other, but in different beds): 48

English (woman on top; man hiding): 15

American (both on top): 1,243

AFFLICTIONS

Leg cramp: 36

Making believe you don't have a leg cramp: 612

Sneezing (during intercourse): 7

Sneezing (during orgasm): 588

ASSORTED ACCIDENTS

Toupee slips off (if your partner knew you wore one): 5

Toupee slips off (if partner didn't know): 72

Extinguishing cigarette (in ashtray): 1

Extinguishing cigarette (in mattress): 17

Extinguishing cigarette (in partner's leg): 133

Calling your partner the wrong name: 50

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE

Shoes flew off: 15

Expression didn't change: 0.5

Room turned purple: 4

Face turned purple: 78

Earth moved: 30

If Earth actually moved: 1,234,588

Moaning in Turkish: 506

THINGS OFTEN SAID AFTER SEX

"I am so grateful": 15

"It must have been something we ate": 15

"Was it good for you?": 15

"Are you finished?": 15

TRYING AGAIN

If woman is ready: 5

If man is not: 563

ROLLING OVER AND GOING TO SLEEP

After sex: 18

During sex: 546

While parking car: 212

SLEEP

Real: 5

Faked (a good way to avoid sex-craved partner): 74

TAKING A BATH TOGETHER

In a bath: 5

In a sink: 150

In a jacuzzi: 15,269

MAKING THE BED

With partner still in it: 44 (indicates either a neatness obsession, a severe optic disorder, or a partner who is very tired).

With you still in it: 97 (suggests extreme withdrawal and profound dissatisfaction)

KEEPING A JOURNAL

Maintaining your own record of sexual activity will be helpful for keeping track of weight loss. You needn't go into detail, just list the activity and the number of calories burned.

A typical entry in a woman's journal (for example) for a pleasant low-key sexual experience might read as follows:

December 1st: Sex with Harold

Explaining how: 12

Suggesting something different: 3

Calming terrified Harold: 40

Encouraging him to at least take off his socks: 8

Foreplay (a little of this; a little of that): 56

Intercourse (standing position): 22

Intercourse (holding Harold up): 10

Intercourse (urging him on): 5

Orgasm: not sure

Thanking Harold: 3

Waving bye-bye: 1

Total time: six minutes (taxi waiting)

Total calories burned: 160

 
Posted on 05-19-05 1:02 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hahaha...now what do you do if you wanna gain some six pack???
 
Posted on 05-19-05 2:19 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wiz_kid bro, i have done a research on from the male's prespective.
The conclusion was asymmetrical to above mentioned results.

Will provide details pachi. :)

IndisGuise:)
 
Posted on 05-19-05 5:03 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Indisguise, I thought u were a girl.

Other ways to expend energy:

Squashing your pimples - for each pimple squashed per cubic cm: 30 calories of energy lost.

Constipation - going to the bathroom and trying to sh** and nothing comes out even after 1/2 an hour: enegy lost at the rate of 400 calories per hour.

Far*ing - depends on the amount and smell of the gas released: from 10 cal. to 100 cal.

Ati bhayo aba ma bhage

Energy lost while writing this fantoosh thing - 200 cal.




 
Posted on 05-20-05 7:34 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hushpuppy

hahaha...now what do you do if you wanna gain some six pack???

Lau Hushpuppy lai ta thaha chaina jasto cha... if you wanna gain sex pack, then you need to do extra excersise which is mostly related to J.A.P.A.N. I think you will know the full form of that, if not then i will post later on.


Indi Bro,
you have done research on male :p..... ke ho yeti chadai manche paribartan vako vaneko, asti samma ta " Tuhi meri jaan hai " vandai pachi pachi hunthyou sajha ko heroine ko pachadi, aba kahilya deki male re-SEARCH garna thaleko ......... ;):):)


Pade_queen_no_1
ke ho, aba hajur ko naaam ( nick) testo bhayera ho ki kya ho, khali
Constipation and far*ting ko kura gareko jasto cha ni....? ani stomac virus hunda kati energy lost huncha, Jhada-pakhala lagda ni...?? just curious hai

Lau hai, friday ho.. Enjoy your Weekend and everything is for fun...fun and more fuun














 
Posted on 05-20-05 10:14 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Kid boy, let me tell u more

i suffered loose motion today from early morn, had to go to the loo 20 times. So each time the amount of fluid was wasted from my body, energy equal to 100 calories was lost. S boy here u go,

20*100= 2000 cal. lost in a matter of 4 hours.

tummy infested with virus:

So to replicate they need energy - so for the making 20 billion tummy viruses inside my tummy - energy lost 1000 cal.
 
Posted on 05-20-05 10:47 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Males burn 200 calories during intercourse:
40 Cal during the act, 160 Cal after...bragging about it!

Disclaimer: hearsay!

 
Posted on 05-20-05 11:44 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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PQ# 1

hajur lai loose motion vako kura sunera dukhha lagyo ....orry to hear that you have loose motion. Anyway get well soon from that loose motion since weekend is coming up.

Isnt that true, Every action has equal but opposite reaction. So if you loose
20*100 = 2000 cal with action
20*50 = 1000 cal with reaction ( coz you need to keep going to the restroom, oeping/closing the door and etc etc)

So total cal lost = 3000 for PQ JI


Sitara jee
Males burn 200 calories during intercourse:
40 Cal during the act, 160 Cal after...bragging about it!
======>>>>

hajur ko kura malai ekdaam chitta bhujhyo... baru risani maaf paau hai kehi kura bhanna maan lageko thiyo...khas testo ta kehi hoina, nepali ma aauta Ukhan cha ni.. tyo kya
" Padhera bhanda parera janincha" aba mero experiance ma chai Ladies burn their calories as follows:

during the intercourse
Moaning = 50 cal
Shaking head( while moaning)= 50 cal
Biting their lips : 100 cal
grabbing the bedsheet : 200 cal
other = 100

total calories burn = 500




Bhulchuk bhaye maaf pau hai

 
Posted on 05-21-05 12:06 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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O.K. give me an answer, how many calories do you burn when you do masterbathing?
Probably in 36 shot you loose 100 calories.

 


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