shakarpatsib
More by shakarpatsib
What people are reading
Subscribers
Please log in to subscribe to shakarpatsib's postings.
:: Subscribe
|
[VIEWED 3121
TIMES]
|
SAVE! for ease of future access.
|
|
|
shakarpatsib
Please log in to subscribe to shakarpatsib's postings.
Posted on 10-10-07 5:35
PM
Reply
[Subscribe]
|
Login in to Rate this Post:
0
?
|
|
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court. Taken down by court reporters who
had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.__________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lay there.__________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks._________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: In what way does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: Can you give us an example of something you forgot?__________________________ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: "Cathy, where am I?"ATTORNEY: Why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan.__________________________ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?WITNESS: We both do.ATTORNEY: Voodoo?WITNESS: We do.ATTORNEY: You do?WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.__________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?__________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's twenty one.__________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?__________________________ATTORNEY: The date of the conception ( of the baby ) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: What were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Uh....I was gettin' laid.....__________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS : Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Are you serious? Your Honor, I need a different attorney...Can I get a new attorney?__________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death.ATTORNEY: By whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?__________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was medium height and had a beard.ATTORNEY: Was this a male or female?WITNESS: Guess......__________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here today pursuant to a deposition notice I sent to you attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.__________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?_________________________ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral.__________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started about 8:00 p.m.ATTORNEY: And Mr. Smith was dead at the time?WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.....__________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Uh, are you qualified to ask that question?__________________________AND LAST__________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Then, could it be possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be sure?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive anyway?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible he could have been alive and practicing law.......
|
|
|
Please Log in! to be able to reply! If you don't have a login, please register here.
YOU CAN ALSO
IN ORDER TO POST!
Within last 7 days
Recommended Popular Threads |
Controvertial Threads |
TPS Re-registration case still pending .. |
To Sajha admin |
|
|
NOTE: The opinions
here represent the opinions of the individual posters, and not of Sajha.com.
It is not possible for sajha.com to monitor all the postings, since sajha.com merely seeks to provide a cyber location for discussing ideas and concerns related to Nepal and the Nepalis. Please send an email to admin@sajha.com using a valid email address
if you want any posting to be considered for deletion. Your request will be
handled on a one to one basis. Sajha.com is a service please don't abuse it.
- Thanks.
|