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Posted on 03-08-08 7:54
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http://gorkha.myminicity.com:) and help me increase it's population! And here's 10 jokes as a bonus: (excuse the formatting) Two doctors and an HMO manager
die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward
and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of
children." St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a
psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St.
Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager.
I got countless families cost-effective health care." St. Peter
replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "You can only stay for three
days. After that, you can go to hell." |
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I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets." |
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A
panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls
out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the
bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter
and you didn't pay for the food." The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm
a panda. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A
tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black
and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves." |
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?" |
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The
16th tee featured a fairway that ran along a road. The first golfer in
a foursome teed off and hooked the ball. It soared over the fence and
bounced onto the street, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and
ricocheted back onto the fairway. As they all stood in amazement, one
of the golfer's friends asked, "How did you do that?" The golfer
shrugged. "You have to know the bus schedule." |
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How do you keep a jackass in suspense? I'll let you know tomorrow! |
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Two
campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a
rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs
ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife,
cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on
the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What
did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're gonna die." |
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Six
guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches
his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to
tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
"Break it to her gently," they all urge. "Leave it to me," he says.
When Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just
lost $500 playing cards." "How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing.
"Tell him to drop dead!" |
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Do
you know what you get when you play a country song backward? You get
your job back, you get your house back, your wife back, your truck
back... |
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Proudly
showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led
the way to the bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. "What's that
brass gong for?" asked the friend. "It's not a gong. It's a talking
clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? How's it work?" "Watch
this," said the drunk. He took a hammer, gave the gong an
ear-shattering pound and waited. Someone on the other side of the wall
screamed: "Hey, you jerk. It's 3:00 in the morning!" |
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