From: www.ayogorkhali.com
June 24th, 2026
Political Chaos and Culinary Calamity

Good Morning, Nepal!

1. The Unchallenged King of Chitwan
In a shocking turn of events that surprised absolutely no one, Rabi Lamichhane has been elected unopposed as the chairperson of the Rastriya Swatantra Party. As the only candidate standing during the party's first general convention in Chitwan, his victory was about as predictable as a monsoon downpour in June. It seems the party has mastered the art of "democracy" where the coronation happens before the confetti even drops. One can only hope that under this uncontested leadership, the party finds a path forward that doesn't just involve winning internal elections by default.

2. A VIP Breakfast to Remember
The hospitality industry in Chitwan has reached new heights of absurdity after the Lords Business Complex was slapped with a three-lakh fine for serving a fish-bone-laden omelet to Home Minister Sudhan Gurung. Apparently, the hotel decided the Minister needed a literal "hook" in his breakfast, turning a simple morning meal into a high-stakes administrative inquiry. It is truly heartening to know that our government is laser-focused on the vital issue of breakfast safety while the rest of the nation just hopes for electricity. One must admire the hotel's bold attempt to diversify the Minister's diet, even if it ended up costing them a small fortune.

3. The Great Legal Struggle
Former Minister and UML Vice-Chair Bishnu Paudel has been granted a seven-day "all-expenses-paid" stay in police custody following his arrest on money laundering charges. His party, in a fit of righteous indignation, has decided to wage a parliamentary war against the government, labeling the arrest an assault on the rule of law. It is always refreshing to watch political parties declare "tyranny" the moment their own leaders are asked to explain their inexplicable bank balances. Perhaps this struggle in parliament will finally provide the entertainment value our legislative sessions have been so desperately lacking.

4. Budget Blues and Disappearing Records
Lumbini Province is currently experiencing a collective tantrum as ruling party lawmakers staged a protest against a budget they claim is unfairly centralized around the Chief Minister. Meanwhile, in Jajarkot, the Bheri Municipality has reached the pinnacle of administrative incompetence by somehow "losing" their official decision-making record book. Between budget rebellions and disappearing documents, it’s clear that our local government entities are operating with the organizational efficiency of a toddler playing hide-and-seek. One can only laugh at the sheer audacity of losing an entire book of decisions in the middle of a meeting, a feat that deserves its own category in the national records.

5. The Market and Mortality
The NEPSE index took a sharp double-digit dive on Tuesday, further bruising the egos of investors who clearly thought the market cared about their retirement plans. On a much darker note, the tragic stabbing of a tattoo artist in Bhaktapur over a design dispute serves as a grim reminder that some people take art way too seriously. Markets fall, people disappear, and records go missing, making it another perfectly chaotic day in the life of the nation. Despite the economic gloom and the unfortunate headlines, we continue to march forward, hoping that tomorrow's news cycle might bring something slightly less surreal.

6. Struggles in the Parliamentary Arena
The CPN-UML parliamentary party has officially decided to launch a struggle against the government, characterizing the recent arrest of Vice-Chair Bishnu Paudel as a direct assault on the rule of law. The party has condemned what they describe as the administration's authoritarian and dictatorial character, signaling a tense period ahead in the house. It seems the political drama is shifting from the streets back to the parliamentary floor, promising a spectacle of protests and high-level bickering. One can only wonder how much legislation will actually get passed amidst this performative outrage.

7. Budgetary Rebellion in Lumbini
Lumbini Province is witnessing a rare spectacle where even lawmakers from the ruling coalition are openly protesting the government's budget. The protesters claim the financial plan is unfairly skewed to favor only the Chief Minister and a handful of ministers, leaving the rest of the province to fend for itself. As the Speaker attempted to move forward with the agenda, the opposition and disgruntled ruling party members brought the session to a halt, forcing a half-hour adjournment. It is always a joy to see a government fight itself in public, proving that the most effective opposition is sometimes the party itself.

8. A Fatal Dispute Over Ink
In a tragic and senseless incident in Bhaktapur, a 28-year-old tattoo artist named Akash Rasaili lost his life following a violent confrontation over a tattoo design. The dispute, which escalated quickly on Monday evening, saw the victim attacked with a knife by three individuals who have since been apprehended by the police. It is a sobering reminder that while society obsesses over political posturing, real lives are being lost over the most mundane and avoidable of conflicts. One can only hope for a swift legal resolution, though it does little to bring back the life lost in such a brutal manner.

9. The Disappearing Act of Jajarkot
The Bheri Municipality in Jajarkot has managed to lose its official decision-making record book, a feat of bureaucratic incompetence that truly defies explanation. After the minutes were duly noted and the meeting concluded, the book simply vanished into thin air, prompting the Chief Administrative Officer to formally request assistance from the District Administration Office. It is a classic tale of governance where the very records meant to hold officials accountable are the first things to go missing. Perhaps the book is currently enjoying a vacation, far away from the burden of documenting local government decisions that likely would not have been followed anyway.
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Sita Rana
Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.